I m a 31 year old female from india, going through a very difficult phase of life. I had an affair with a 25-year-old boy for 5-6 months and then suddenly he broke up with me and i am wondering what to do now. In the beginning, everything was perfect. I wanted him to commit but he said that he would marry me only if his parents agree, otherwise not (he will not force them for anything because he adores them especially mother). i said okay and we continued. At first, he was a perfect guy i was searching for my whole life. then he began to become emotionally distant. (He left his job after 1 month of our affair and joined a college as a professor 1 month after). He used to text me only, not calling (always had an excuse that he doesnt have time). we used to fight on this issue as i felt he dosnt love me deeply. he used to deny that saying that only circumstances have changed. there were a few things which hurt me deeply. He is so close to his mum (he sleeps with her when she gets sick, cancelled our date because of her, controls me so that she can like me in india, it is okay to live with parents even after marriage, but he is so close to his mum. whatever happens to his mum she always calls him instead of his father). i used to live up to his expectations always. problems arise when i demanded equality in relationship. I used to fight with him that he dosnt call me, doesnt care me extra, and wrote certain things (like i need a breakup etc several times but never meant it). he never changed for me. i used to make all the compromises for him. He is very career oriented also saying that he can leave everything for his career. He used to think he always thinks right. our fights increased day by day and one day he told me that he doesnt want to continue with me anymore saying that i am very controlling, not at all understanding and that he talked abt marrying his choice of girl at home indirectly and his parents will never agree, so its better to finish all these things. but said give him 2-3 months may be things get change. he needs time. i get crazy. i called him so many times sometimes he returned my calls, but then dint. i used to call him from diff numbers and then he said one day "u r disturbing me." but as he was talking to me sometime so i had a hope that everything wud be fine at the end. Then i got sick and asked him to drive me to doctor. he said he is busy in donating blood somewhere (he used to dream about charity always) but then after he went to cyber cafe (i knew because he scraped me on orkut that day). when i confronted him with this, he said "dont u think i could have an urgent work". i cried many times because of his behavior. My mistakes are only that i wanted him to love me back in the way i used to love him. on his b'day i called him at 12, he was in a movie theater so he talked to me only 1-2 min and told me to put down phone saying that he was watching move. i got frustrated. on our meeting anniversary, i wished him and he replied (by texting only). i requested him to start once again which he dint reply back. sometimes he talks to me and sometimes doesnot. i get confused what is this. my friend also called him and told him to talk to me, he said "i will talk to her, but i am busy with my mum right now." but after all this, i still love him, dont know why. he is not ready to commit, not ready to continue with me anymore. but i decided not to call him and it is about 1 month now. He dint call me in these days. on sunday, it is valentine. he proposed me on last valentine and i am looking for his call for that day. (my mistake was that whenever i fought with him i got crazy but i also loved him so much he knows that.) and more importantly, he behaved in the same way after he broke up with me. he insulted me so many times. (even when we were together that i cant drink water in a sophisticated way, his mum will never like me. MBAs dont have anything to read. he is M.TECh. so he did a hard to work to get his eng. degree. etc etc. i always felt he is right in everything losing my identity. i guess he is an extreme case of mummy's boy. he never cares for what i think or feel. Pls advise me what is all this. is he narcissist? what shud i do now?
Online Advices Requested in Affair - 724 days ago
Tags: I m a 31 year old female from india, going through a very difficult phase of life. I had an affair with a 25-year-old boy for 5-6 months and then suddenly he broke up with me and i am wondering what t ...
