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I am a 26 yr old doctor wishing to pursue higher studies.My parents ae totally against it as they attribute their financial breakdown to my education expenses and literally curse and blame me daily.I have never been a cause of sorrow my entire life,was an above average student,acquired my medicine admission by merit,and gave every oppurtunity to my parents to get praised for having a responsible daughter and doctor.But parents don value any of it,I end up fighting ,losing my mind due to their constant blame of being ambitious.I have started developing a very low self esteem and it is badly affecting my career and ambitions.My mother says that she is totally dissatisfied with me as a daughter,I am well respected by others as a doctor but a t home I experience the worst as a doctor.It is ending up leaving bruises and scars on my mental strength.Please help me . 

Online Advices Requested in Parenting - 446 days ago

Tags: I am a 26 yr old doctor wishing to pursue higher studies.My parents ae totally against it as they attribute their financial breakdown to my education expenses and literally curse and blame me daily.I ...

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sree1654@gmail.com
sree1654@gmail.com
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Dear, I belive the best thing to do for yourself is to move from your parents house, as neither you or them are Comunication specialists so it will take a lot of time to get to actually know each other. Often people reconsider their belives after a shock that happends to them, in your case the shock of moving away. Most of the time people don't listen what other have to say but they only hear some words. As time will pass and you will grow in you career as you wish, they wil see you differently. Fight for your independency, this might be the price for you to get over this. Another thing that you can do is never to judge any one but try and understand.At the base of a "wrong" behaviour stays an issue from the past. We all have at least one. At least you can try ! Peace !

Advice by Allasone at Mar 8, 2011 06:09 AM

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Allasone
Allasone

Simple. You're 26. Stop living your life to please your parents. If they can't accept your choices, that's their problem, not yours. If you want to go back to school, do it, but don't ask them to pay for it. Also, if you live with your folks you need to move. Parents' approval is good at any age, but at your age, with your accomplisments, if they don't value you, they have a problem. Not you.

Advice by iyam at Mar 16, 2011 04:26 PM

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iyam
iyam

life is simple if you want something for yourself do everything nothing to afraid of... your matured enough that you can support for yourself...its little bit hard at first but i know you can do it. in Gods time your parents will be proud of. cheerup girl!!!!

Advice by you at Apr 7, 2011 03:55 PM

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you
you

Thank you for sharing your experience on Online Advices. What you need to do is move out from your parents at once. Second, get a job, apply for loans, sustain yourself financially without their input. Further, sit down with your parents and go over what sums of money they spent on your education, and make a repayment plan with them, so that you can pay them back what they spent on your school. Last but not least, you need to stop talking to them everyday, call them once a week and be brief and do not give them the tools to break you down, say minimum necessary to carry on a casual conversation. At this point it is time to be responsible and take action in all aspects of your life and disconnect yourself from your parents socially and financially. It seems that your parents are abusing you emotionally and you must get this stopped. Good luck! Signed, Psychologist - Online Advices!

Advice by Psychologist at Apr 8, 2011 05:16 PM

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Psychologist
Psychologist

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