Home Request Online Advices Recent Advice Requests Popular Advice Requests Top Advisors

cheyenne92104's Profile

About: I am 40+ years of age,white guy with an Assoc. degree in Speech. I've been married to the same person for 20+ years now and am currently on disability. I've been told on many occassions that I am compassionate and have a genenrous heart. I believe I possess two traits that when used together can answer any question and or solve any problem. Those two traits are common sense and logic. I am one of those people who run towards danger rather than away from it. When I witness a social injustice, I am one of those guys who cannot walk away without feeling the necessity to educate. I will always root for the underdog and I will always stand up for justice. I still believe that the U.S. is a melting pot and that being the case, will acknowledge and respect those Americans who have different views than I. I am open to new ideas and do my best to observe and learn from those who may feel they are not getting what they as Americans are entitled too. I accept the fact that there are many different religions that are observed in this country and though I personally am not a religious person, I do have my own god to whom I beleve in. Having been on my own since the age of 15. I have taken something my father always said,"Listen to your elders and speak only when spoken too." to heart and the results have been that there is nothing that surprises me any more on any level be it social, political, psychological, and or financial. After reading my profile, many people will have formed the opinion that I'm too good to be true. My friends, all 6 of them, would say that I'm exactly who I say I am. My friends are closer to me than family members and have had relationships with me longer than those I've shared with family members. I will admit that some elements of my youth left me damaged but I have identified them and have resolved or accepted them and they no longer are a working part of who I am.

87

Views

Total Points: 200

Advice Requests: 0

Advices Given: 2

Best Advices: 0

can you give me the best ways how to tell my feeling...my situation is... i'm boy but i inlove with my friend which is also a boy......if i will tell him the truth...what is the best ways to tell my love to him??? and what should i do if he reject me?

Requested By: jp_143 in Love - 784 days ago

cheyenne92104's Offer Online Advices

First of all, I'm glad you have identified your sexuality to the point of pursueing a relationship. Next, I would find out how your friend feels about the issue of same sex relationships. You have not given us any idea what age group you are a part of, so I'm working on the premise that you are teenagers. Knowing where he stands on the issue opens the door to discovery if he has no issue with the topic. If there is no denying that he has a negative opinion, I would not inform him of your feelings. If this is a friendship you have shared for some time and is one you hope to maintain for some time to come, I feel it is important that you inform him how you feel about same sex relationships. If your not comfortable coming out to him right now, perhaps there will be a time in the future. If this relationship/friendship is new, in your position, I would state to your friend that you place value on the friendship but you would not be fair to yourself if you didn't at least inquire as to whether or not there is a chance of your friendship becoming anything more. Point out that you are aware of the risk and hope that after you come clean regarding your feelings, if they are not shared that you would hope that your friendship didn't suffer for it. If all is said and done and you point out to this person of interest how you feel and are indeed rejected, hold on to the knowledge that there are many other fish in the sea. I have been in 2 long term relationships. I took 8 years of my first to learn and apply to my second(and current) of 20+ years. Also keep[ in mind that there is only positive energy from rejection if you learn the nature of why your being rejected. It would be in your best interest to accept the fact that there is going to be a lot of rejection of various forms throughout your lifetime. Best wishes.

Advices Given 493 days ago | Read Online Advices (1)

Read online advices

Please help me! I need all the advice i can! I hav this friend at school thats been sticking on to me FOREVER since summer! his friends ditched him, he lives in a homestay, and is a LONER. im in grade 10 and so is he. I felt sorta bad for him so i tried bein his friend befoe the break started. now he made new friends but is still acting lik a stalker. he would always call at least every 10 mins, always talks to me on msn/facebook, send me stupid emails lik "hows i going" on fb or msn! my friends started avoiding me thinking tat we're going out. then his new friends told me that he was going to confess to me on our christmas party on the 24! i couldnt believe it but i did after i saw him at the mall picking out a gift at this store i rilli lik.(it was a anime/clothing store)nobody except me and my best friend goes there. he practically new everything about me! and even before i wen to the mall he asked me (on mobile on FB) wat i wanted for christmas. i told him i wanted the new Mokona Modoki hat set with a scarf and mittens(christmas specia). and that thing is lik freakin60 dollars. i saw him wlking out of the store with the bag he then he went to buy wrapping paper. i asked him wat he did and he said he went christmas shopping for a friend of his O_O PLZ HELP ME, i lik him as a friend and all but hes just too much for me. wat should i do to either prevent this or turn him down?

Requested By: Listen in Relationships - 879 days ago

cheyenne92104's Offer Online Advices

Boy I remember 10th. grade. I was going through a lot of changes. Many were easy to accept; the changing of my voice(late I know) and hair sprouting from places that I learned growing up was the making of a man. Then there were the changes that were not very easty to understand; The attraction from other young men/men towards me and vice versa, and not fitting into society's acceptable perameters of sexual partnering. I saw girls/young women as being attractive but had no interest in pursueing a sexual relationship with any of them. With these issues at that age, I was not comfortable talking about any of them with anyone who was a member of my peer group. I was more at ease talking to older boys or men. Your feelings to want to ease the emotional discomfort you portrayed your classmate to have may have come from two different parts of you. One was from the part of you that is socially aware and the other from a more personal side. That personal side is the stronger side because it is a side of you that is of the soul building. It is part of what defines you both internally (to yourself and your understanding of who you see yourself as) and externally,(the part that society sees or your outside persona). So suppose you approach this issue using your internal parts. If he were to tone down his attention, would this make the part of you that is responsible for doing what makes you feel good happier? Or suppose you approach it from the other side, the side that is seen by your peers. Would you make it a point to state to this person that though you were interested in creating a friendship, their being so overbearing makes you uncomfortable. The side that makes you happy will likely find a way to resolve this because the other person has shown a character trait that you find appealing;someone who has shown an interest in you to the point of buying you something specific that you have already pointed out would make you happy. Or if the issue is to be resolved by the other side of you, the side that is under the influence of your peers and the people who are important enough to you to give in to their influence, you will have to approach it head on. You will have to be able to approach this person and in a language that leaves no ambiguity, express how their behavior makes you feel and how it creates a level of discomfort and may be looked upon by others as something other than what it truly is. So it boils down to this. Can you allow yourself an oppurtunity to be open to a personal relationship that in the long run will have more personal meaning simply by telling your new friend that you like them but their behavior is not permitting anything other than being aquaintances or are you going to follow the opinions of your friends for whom you may no longer stay in touch with after graduation,(it happens) and tell this person that they make you uncomfortable and that you do not care to pursue a friendship under the current circumstances. When travelling that road your speaking tones are going to be very different than those you would use if you were going to travel the road that makes you happy on a personal level. Which ever road you travel. try to be compassionate, sincere, and always keep eye contact. If I were in your shoes personally, I would tell the person who has the aggressive personality to tone it down and if they are capable of doing so, make it a point to spend more time with them and allow the two of you to get to know one another so as to remain open to a relationship that will one day have a lot of rewarding emotions attached to it. These are just the beginning of new changes you are going to experience being so young.

Advices Given 493 days ago | Read Online Advices (4)

Read online advices

Categories

Abuse

Addiction

Affair

Aging

Anger

Breakup

Childhood

Conflict

Control

Couples

Dating

Deception

Depression

Disability

Divorce

Family

Friends

Hate

Loss

Love

Marriage

Other

Pain

Parenting

Relationships

Religion

Revenge

Sex

Singles

Stress

Violence

Weight

Work